I am probably the wrong person to be saying this, but this one is a message for young working mothers who have children in the age group of 7-12 years.
This is the time when you find your child becoming a little independent and being able to finally manage without you. For most us, it is like being able to breathe in peace after 8-9 years of having a little creature constantly hanging around us.
Please don’t get me wrong, I have two boys, one 17 and the other 10 years old and I love them to bits. I look forward to sharing their world with them, their stories of their school hours, about the unfair treatment meted out to them when they don’t get selected for the school team, the insights they get while playing their favourite online games… I love all of it.
Too much to do as a working mother
Yet, being a working mother, I have responsibilities at work, meetings to attend and deadlines to keep. At times, the endless trips to the school for PTA meets, open days, prayer performances can crowd my schedule to no end. When my first son was growing up, I often put his school performances and activities as a second priority, telling myself I would make it the next time.
During his later school years, I realized the performances and calls to the school become few and far between. There are activities that you want to be a part of, but the school does not feel the need to have parents involved. Also, as children cross the 11-12 years mark, they prefer to hang out with their friends more than with you.
High school is a different ball game
They don’t want you interacting endlessly with their teachers, or friends. In high school, I barely knew my son’s friends, and had a nodding acquaintance with their parents. It is a different phase then. Your focus as a parent gradually begins to shift more towards your child’s academic performance and while in the early years of high school – sports and theatre are fun, you find yourself consciously shifting tracks towards academics.
Things will change soon!
The simple joyous relationship you have with your children while they are under 12, when you are still taking care of their studies, monitoring their books, having a close communication with their teachers – all undergoes a change in the higher classes.
Keeping these changes in mind, I strongly recommend that you attend as many of your child’s programs and events in the primary school as you can. It is the time you will see your child shine on stage, perform with no inhibitions, enjoy every moment of the activity without worrying about the fact that someone else got a better part to play than him. The years of primary school are precious, and if you have a single child, please do make time for your little one. If you have a second child, you will learn from your experience the first time around, and try and make up while the second one is growing up. I know I am doing that and loving it.
Why involvement is
Your child will soon be a teenager, set out to define his / her individuality; and will begin the journey to being an adult. Sweet innocent moments of early school years are what will remain in your heart for life. So collect as many memories as you can, cherish them and celebrate them.
On occasions when you can’t make it, wear a smile, hug your little one and wish him / her luck for the Big Day. Remember for you, it may be one more leave from work, for the child, it could be his biggest performance till date!
~ Bharti Athray